Things I learned about very young children after only a couple days of babysitting:
-Kids ask for clarifications in the most unexpected areas:
Me: When I was in forth grade, I played Romeo in Romeo and Juliet.
Him: Who played Juliet?"
Me: A girl named Melanie…? You probably don't know her.
-They talk in all kinds of superlatives:
Him: Is that the
biggest spoon in the entire world?
What if I squished the heads of everybody in
the entire world?
-They take things extremely literally:
Me: "I suspect there's
really only a handful of people in the world."
Him: "A handful? But it would take like
five handfuls just to pick up a single person!"
-Him: I have an idea! (repeated over and over again without ever revealing the idea)
-Whenever he says something cute, if he gets a positive reaction, he will immediately repeat it (this will continue until he ceases to get a positive reaction).
-Comically greedy:
Him: I want you to buy for my birthday everything in the entire
world.
Me: How much do you think it would cost to buy everything in the world?
Him: Like
millions and millions of dollars. You would have to buy a… (followed by a list
of one of every obvious thing he could see at that moment)
-Him: "Do you know who my best friend in
class is?"
Me: (unspoken) I don't know the name of a single person in your class…I don't even know your teacher's name!
-I can make a limerick! (attempt has neither rhythm nor rhyme scheme)
-Commonly said: Not fair!
-Refusing to do things only to exercise power. Crying
only for attention. Tantrums to make a completely inconceivable point. Only
saying sorry when told to.
*Repeating a single phrase over and over and over and over...
-Contradicting the self in order to contradict the other:
Her: I
don't want to go in there…I'm mad at you for making me go in there!
(Next day)
I want to go in there!
Me: But yesterday you yelled at me for making you go in
there.
Her: (starts to cry) But I want to I want to I want to.
-Total fascination with who could beat who:
Could a dog beat
a goat?
Could Superman run faster than the truck?
-Why don't rocks ever grow?
-Imaginative worlds in which scraping a stick in the ground
is building a road factory. Yet if his sister steps on the ground in a
place he hasn't even scraped, she's completely ruining it!
-Him: Why can't she pee outside like everyone else?
Me: Because she's
a girl.
Him: And she doesn't use her penis?
Me: She doesn't have one.
Him: Why not?
Me: Because
boys and girls' bodies are shaped differently so they can work in different
ways.
Him: Why?
Me: So everyone is good at something different and society will be better.
Him: Why do you float better in salt water?
-Him: Are there dinosaurs in Colorado?
Me: Kind of...
And by far my favorite...
-Him: Why don't you keep digging until you get to the center of
the Earth?
Me: Because it's really hot there.
Him: Why don't you make a mask that sprays
cold water on you all the time so you don't get hot?
Me: Because it's so hot it
makes rocks melt.
Him: Why don't you spray cold water on them?
No comments:
Post a Comment