Equinox Thoughts

I wrote this to celebrate the Equinox but didn't remember to post it until today:


Emerging from the winter. Reflections on the the dead relationships from my past that must be pruned and bundled and sent away to compost. Some kind of clearing of the weeds. Reduction to only the specific plants I wish to grow, the specific fruits I hope to harvest. Some kind of cold clinging attachment to “hey, I just thought of you for the first time in a while and was wondering how you’ve been” and then getting no response. Wondering, searching, considering the possibility of false gossip (or at least one-sided) and then feeling that indignation that comes with a perceived injustice committed. “But if only you would hear me out, let me explain, it wasn’t like that at all, not at all...” But what’s the use? What are you trying to prove? To who? What do you hope to resurrect?

And now descriptions: So much information. Conversations storm around populated by all the content of a university library. Slowly dissolving under the terrible gaze of a new age of apathy. Abstract powers birthing concrete unfreedoms. So fucking what? What do you hope to know? Why? At this point...nothing but the need for peace, strength. An ultimate intention in the dissolution of separation (or perhaps the illusion of separation). Recognize the Self as radically separate from the world of separations.

She said “I think there are some people who are terrified that beneath the surface there isn’t anything that they really love or are sincerely passionate about.” Meanwhile Hal says he finds it a bit boggling to believe that anyone can really care about anything, and yet they do.

Equinox

Prune the overgrown garden of life. Friendships, ideas, ambitions. Plant only seeds to bear fruit some day. See through the spectacle, the image which mediates all social relations. An old floating fish gives way to a young pugilistic ram. The boxer, reinvigorated, by way of weltanschauung, contemplating one self in a world autofabricated. Sham battles between competing images of equally alienating powers. Some really frenetic shit. 2012 begins today, as the last vestiges of what was not 2012 finally clip away. Come December, the winter of the revolution of the vanishing vanquishing soul.

Feel good, be good and do good (Metta).

Meanwhile, there is a war between those who say there is a war and those who say there isn’t.

-And in the end, is it not true that all revolutionaries who claim to desire liberation for the masses, ultimately only desire liberation for themselves? Name one revolutionary who fights to free another and accepts none of the acquired power for himself.
-Garibaldi?

The spectacle’s negation of life can be negated only when the producers shift their intentions from producing consumable goods to simply producing their Selves. True liberation (the goal of all revolutionaries) comes only when one liberates oneself, which is done by directly combatting one’s sense of alienation. This is done through reconnecting with the self: the body, the sensations, the experience, the desires, the beliefs, etc. To produce a sense of Self for the purpose of a living enjoyment, feeling.

Time as we know it was only just an invention of the market to achieve its own ends. The essence of Time is found in the celebration of the buds on the trees. The sign of rebirth and embodying re-cognition that we have nothing but Time to produce ourselves to consume ourselves to live our lives and create our stories. What is a true holiday? What is the difference between performing a celebration and celebrating?